Creative Writing for the Creator

All right, here we go again ... Back to my childhood.  And a little about my first school years. Now it's time to register some memories of my childhood after Daddy's death. Kindergarten had not worked for me: it had been a nightmare to be in a strange place, in the presence of strangers, away from home, and, most of all, away from Mom.  My aunt had also lost her husband to a car wreck about three years before Daddy's fatal accident.  My uncle had been a crazy, cheerful man! He was a doctor. I remember when he brought living crabs to his house (they used to live in a house then) to make a crab boil; he let the kids (me and his three daughters) play with the crabs, which were tied to a long stick. It was a terrifying and exciting experience. I loved being around my uncle. But that was pretty much all a three-year-old (me) could remember. After my uncle passed away, my aunt, three cousins, and maternal grandmother moved  to the same apartment building cl...

Continuing on my early childhood memories, I will start with the two people who played significant roles in my story: Mom & Daddy. Daddy was a Frigate Commander in the Brazilian Navy.  I remember the day Mom and I went for a visit to his ship. Daddy came out to meet us on the dock. He picked me up, held Mom's arm, and we walked on a narrow bridge over the water, connecting the pier and the ship. The railings were made of rope, and it felt wobbly. I experienced a mix of fear and excitement but being carried by Daddy's strong arms made me feel completely safe. He was my hero. Daddy's ship: NT Marajó (G-27), an oil tanker.   I remember Mom's voice singing:  "Viva o Sol do céu da nossa terra,  vem surgindo atrás da linda serra!" "Hooray to the sun in the sky of our land,  rising behind the beautiful mountain!"  What a joyful start to a new sunny day! Mom was the epitome of the 50's musical scene era: a song  f...

I will start with this thought: CHANGE IS INEVITABLE. I need to trace my life back to my origins   (just a little history here, so please bear with me). And I will try to go as far back as I can. What do I remember? So, yes, there I was, in the state of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. (That's where I was born and raised until my early 30's. You may look it up on the map if you can't visualize it in your mind) My earliest childhood memories bring me back to preschool age.  My first birthday party - 1965 (I so wanted to touch those bunnies on the cake!) My dad was an officer in the Brazilian Navy.               Daddy (far left) - Naval Academy Graduation - 1952    Mom was a teacher.                       Mom's Graduation                         Mom and Dad's Wedding Day ...

It is well known and said that childhood plays a vital role in creating and fashioning one's personality. And, of course, the memories we are able to access may or may not reflect the reality of facts. I guess what I am trying to convey here is that emotions may magnify, distort, conceal, in sum, play with our minds to such an extent that all we have left of our childhood are our 'memories' as we perceive them.  With that being said, other than photographs, documents and videos, I am making a conscious choice to recall my past life as candidly as I possibly can, holding on to my own perceptions and feelings. I will not relate every single detail, lest I bore you (or myself) to tears. I will admit that my account may not coincide with the views and recollections of those with whom I have had contact or crossed paths for a little or a longer time. However, this is my blog and I reserve the right to write as I deem appropriate and applicable. Therefore, I will be writing about...

Depression. What is it exactly? It is in our human nature to seek answers. Can depression be defined (and confined) within a definition entry?  Depression can be as deadly as a terminal disease. It develops somehow inside our minds and starts to eat away at us. Have you ever been depressed or know someone going through depression? YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Today I am finally ready to start sharing my journey battling depression. I am a survivor. And I will tell you my story. So, read on.  Though I am not certain where to begin, I know I do have to start somewhere ... So I will write from a remembrance as it resurfaces: a situation, a feeling, a smell, a sight, a song ...   As we partake of this journey, you will be my companion, and I, yours. A journey of discovery, of startling insights, of unexpected awareness. But, most of all, a journey with a goal: ongoing rescue and deliverance from depression into a life lived to the fullest .  Together we ...

Morning brought a wave of despair No air to breathe, I'm drowning in this sea of fears Panic attacks my soul, and no one seems to care Castaway with my pain, my screams, my tears   No island in sight, no plane in the sky I kick and scream, try to swim, stay alive I need a lifesaver, a chance to survive   I cry Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ I cry Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ   A new wave of hope takes hold of my soul White sails of salvation begin to unfold You are here, no more fear, I'll survive   I cry Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ I cry Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ   ............................................................... Originally written in 2009